All the information in the Universe is only a bunch of letters and numbers unless we can assimilate it and implement it in our life. But when it comes to information about being happy, at peace, living a loving life, we need some fertile ground to plant the seeds that will grow into Barbequia. That fertile ground is us; who we are, our attitudes, our outlook and most importantly our “in-look” or how we see our Self.
I have a friend with a very friendly and cheerful personality. She has always worked with people in some type of customer service scenario and has a way of making everyone go away feeling happy. She has a philosophy that she shares with anyone that asks her if she is ever in a bad mood (not a common occurrence). Her philosophy in her own words is as follows:
“I am very selective of the people I spend time with since I want to surround myself with positive upbeat people. If I were stuck with someone else 24/7 I would want him or her to be in a good mood, so why would I want to hang out with myself if I was grumpy? The way I see it, I have to be with myself twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, so if I don’t want to hang around a grump, why would I be one if all I have to do is choose not to be?”
This insightful philosophy is so simple and yet so profound. Being cheerful and happy is a choice, regardless of the events that surround us. In 1985 there was a very large earthquake in Mexico City that caused a vast amount of death and destruction. During the long weeks of rescue, recovery and clean up, the environment took a toll on most of the volunteers, public servants and the surviving residents. There was a nurse that stood out from the masses that was a Red Cross employee working on the front lines of treating the injured in the emergency room of a small clinic in the south part of Mexico City. I don’t recall her name but I will never forget the effect she had on everyone’s life as she greeted every patient with a warm smile and a word of encouragement. No matter how stressful the workload became, she chose to be upbeat and positive, reassuring the injured as well as their family. She compassionately comforted the family of those deceased and cheerfully served her patients, never letting on to the gravity of their injuries. One patient in particular who had suffered massive internal injuries and broken bones stated 6 months into his recovery that this particular nurse was the reason he was still alive. “She was so calm and peaceful and she never said a negative thing about my injuries. In fact she constantly spoke to me about the things I would do when I recovered. My day started with her smile and I will always be in her debt for what she did”. Those are powerful words of appreciation for something as simple as being upbeat and positive. The effect we can have on others is really beyond our ability to comprehend and yet the lion’s share of this effect is on us, and how we see our Self.
A true friend is one that has the best interest of everyone at heart. A true friend is positive and builds on the positive, and rejoices in the accomplishments of others out of love for them. To be a true friend, we must start by being so to our Self. If we let “the grump” or “the downer” rule our mood time, we will notice that we attract the same type of people. If we choose to be upbeat and positive and be around that type of people, it will become increasingly easier to become that on a permanent basis. There is a Spanish proverb that says, “Tell me who you associate with and I will tell you who you are”. While this may be a bit too black and white for most tastes, the people we choose to be around are a good indicator of what we are like as we all have an influence on each other. This emphasizes the importance of being selective about the people we associate with on an on-going basis. By this we don’t mean to imply that we should be rude to anyone or shun anyone, but we do mean that we may want to focus our effort on developing relationships with people that are positive, upbeat and that have qualities we would like to emulate. We also advocate making an effort to actively avoid people that may have a negative effect on us. Part of being your own best friend is selecting positive friends for yourself. Let’s face it; it is not anyone’s job to save the world or to cram our personal philosophy down the throat of someone that isn’t interested or ready. So why would we choose to associate with people that will bring us down? Life is too short to spend time trying to “fix” (most of us call it “help” since it is easier to justify) someone else – especially if we understand that we can’t help anyone to progress and grow until we help our Self, and the process of doing so will inevitably have a positive effect on those that are ready. And those that are ready will inevitably have a positive effect on us as well. Be a true friend to yourself by seeking the company of positive people and avoiding those that are not.