The vast knowledge in the universe is merely a collection of abstract ideas—letters, numbers, theories—until we can absorb and apply it to our own lives. But when it comes to wisdom about happiness, peace, and love, the most fertile ground for growth is not found in books or teachings alone. It is within us—our attitudes, our mindset, and most importantly, our in-look: the way we see ourselves.
One of my friends exemplifies this idea beautifully. She’s always cheerful, positive, and friendly, especially in her work in customer service, where her goal is to leave everyone she interacts with feeling better. When asked if she ever gets in a bad mood, she shares a simple yet profound philosophy:
“I am very selective about the people I spend time with. I want to surround myself with upbeat, positive individuals. If I were stuck with someone else 24/7, I would want that person to be in a good mood. So, why would I want to hang out with myself if I was grumpy? I have to be with myself every day, all the time. If I wouldn’t want to be around someone who’s negative, why would I choose to be that person?”
This philosophy is simple, yet powerful. Choosing happiness is a conscious decision, regardless of external circumstances. This idea came to life in an inspiring story I came across from the 1985 Mexico City earthquake. Amid the devastation and loss, a Red Cross nurse working on the front lines became known for her unwavering positivity and compassion. Despite the overwhelming situation, she greeted each patient with a smile, offering words of comfort and encouragement. Even as she witnessed extreme suffering, she remained cheerful, calming both patients and their families. One patient, who had suffered grave injuries, later credited her upbeat attitude with helping him survive. Six months into his recovery, he said, “Her smile, her calm demeanor, her positive words—they were why I made it through.”
Her ability to remain upbeat during such an emotionally and physically taxing time didn’t just affect others—it impacted her as well. The way we choose to interact with the world, especially with ourselves, has a profound impact on our overall well-being. When we cultivate positivity and cheerfulness, we’re not only enriching others’ lives but also nurturing our own.
A true friend is someone who wishes the best for others—someone who celebrates the victories of others, big or small, with love and joy. The foundation of being a true friend to others begins with being that friend to yourself. If we allow ourselves to become “the grump” or “the downer,” we’ll likely attract those who share the same negative energy. However, if we choose to embody an optimistic, positive attitude, we will naturally draw similar individuals into our lives.
There’s a Spanish proverb that says, “Tell me who you associate with and I will tell you who you are.” While this may seem a bit overly simplistic, it underscores an important truth: the people we spend time with significantly influence who we become. We are all mirrors to one another. By being mindful of the company we keep, we can create an environment that nurtures positivity and growth.
This doesn’t mean we should shun or dismiss those who are struggling or negative, but it does mean that we should prioritize relationships with people who lift us up, inspire us, and whose qualities we admire. As we cultivate our own personal growth, it’s essential to seek out people who align with our values and aspirations, and avoid those whose negativity may hinder our progress.
Being your own best friend means actively selecting relationships that nurture your well-being. Life is too short to spend it trying to “fix” others, especially if they are not ready to change or grow. Instead, focus on your own growth. By doing so, you’ll naturally inspire others to grow as well. And in turn, you’ll find that those who are ready to embrace their own positive transformations will uplift you as well.
So, be your own best friend. Surround yourself with positive people, cultivate your own joy, and watch how the energy you put into your own life ripples outward, transforming your world. Life is about the choices we make in how we treat ourselves and the company we keep—and by choosing positivity, we not only help ourselves, but we also create a circle of support, love, and encouragement for everyone around us.