The vast knowledge in the universe is merely a collection of abstract ideas—letters, numbers, theories—until we can absorb and apply it to our own lives. But when it comes to wisdom about happiness, peace, and love, the most fertile ground for growth is not found in books or teachings alone. It is within us—our attitudes, our mindset, and most importantly, our in-look: the way we see ourselves.
One of my friends exemplifies this idea beautifully. She’s always cheerful, positive, and friendly, especially in her work in customer service, where her goal is to leave everyone she interacts with feeling better. When asked if she ever gets in a bad mood, she shares a simple yet profound philosophy:
“I am very selective about the people I spend time with. I want to surround myself with upbeat, positive individuals. If I were stuck with someone else 24/7, I would want that person to be in a good mood. So, why would I want to hang out with myself if I was grumpy? I have to be with myself every day, all the time. If I wouldn’t want to be around someone who’s negative, why would I choose to be that person?”
This philosophy is simple, yet powerful. Choosing happiness is a conscious decision, regardless of external circumstances. This idea came to life in an inspiring story I came across from the 1985 Mexico City earthquake. Amid the devastation and loss, a Red Cross nurse working on the front lines became known for her unwavering positivity and compassion. Despite the overwhelming situation, she greeted each patient with a smile, offering words of comfort and encouragement. Even as she witnessed extreme suffering, she remained cheerful, calming both patients and their families. One patient, who had suffered grave injuries, later credited her upbeat attitude with helping him survive. Six months into his recovery, he said, “Her smile, her calm demeanor, her positive words—they were why I made it through.”
Her ability to remain upbeat during such an emotionally and physically taxing time didn’t just affect others—it impacted her as well. The way we choose to interact with the world, especially with ourselves, has a profound impact on our overall well-being. When we cultivate positivity and cheerfulness, we’re not only enriching others’ lives but also nurturing our own.
A true friend is someone who wishes the best for others—someone who celebrates the victories of others, big or small, with love and joy. The foundation of being a true friend to others begins with being that friend to yourself. If we allow ourselves to become “the grump” or “the downer,” we’ll likely attract those who share the same negative energy. However, if we choose to embody an optimistic, positive attitude, we will naturally draw similar individuals into our lives.
There’s a Spanish proverb that says, “Tell me who you associate with and I will tell you who you are.” While this may seem a bit overly simplistic, it underscores an important truth: the people we spend time with significantly influence who we become. We are all mirrors to one another. By being mindful of the company we keep, we can create an environment that nurtures positivity and growth.
This doesn’t mean we should shun or dismiss those who are struggling or negative, but it does mean that we should prioritize relationships with people who lift us up, inspire us, and whose qualities we admire. As we cultivate our own personal growth, it’s essential to seek out people who align with our values and aspirations, and avoid those whose negativity may hinder our progress.
Being your own best friend means actively selecting relationships that nurture your well-being. Life is too short to spend it trying to “fix” others, especially if they are not ready to change or grow. Instead, focus on your own growth. By doing so, you’ll naturally inspire others to grow as well. And in turn, you’ll find that those who are ready to embrace their own positive transformations will uplift you as well.
So, be your own best friend. Surround yourself with positive people, cultivate your own joy, and watch how the energy you put into your own life ripples outward, transforming your world. Life is about the choices we make in how we treat ourselves and the company we keep—and by choosing positivity, we not only help ourselves, but we also create a circle of support, love, and encouragement for everyone around us.
The Art of Self-Care in Barbequia
Self-care is an essential pillar of the Barbequian way of life. In our journey to create a personal sanctuary of love, peace, and fulfillment, nurturing the body, mind, and spirit is not merely a luxury—it is a necessity. Self-care is about tending to the garden of our well-being with intention and love, ensuring that we are nourished, balanced, and aligned with the present moment.
The Essentials of Barbequian Self-Care
- Movement: Embracing Exercise as Joy In Barbequia, exercise is not a chore but a celebration of the body’s vitality and strength. Movement connects us to our physical selves and reminds us of the miracle of life coursing through us. Whether it’s yoga, dancing, swimming, hiking, or a simple walk, the goal is to engage in activities that bring joy and energy.
By treating movement as an act of gratitude rather than obligation, exercise becomes a gift to ourselves. Regular physical activity clears the mind, strengthens the heart, and reinforces our connection to the natural rhythm of life.
- Nourishment: Clean Food, Clear Mind Eating healthy, clean food is an act of reverence for the body that sustains us. Barbequian self-care emphasizes consuming fresh, unprocessed foods that nourish both body and soul. Fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and sustainably sourced proteins form the foundation of a Barbequian plate.
Beyond what we eat, it’s also about how we eat—mindfully, with gratitude. Savoring each bite, appreciating the flavors, and recognizing the energy it provides are practices that transform eating into a meditative act of self-love.
- Frugal Luxuries: Finding Joy in Simplicity The concept of frugal luxuries is central to Barbequia. These are small, meaningful pleasures that enrich our lives without excess. A cup of herbal tea sipped in silence, a cozy blanket by a fire, fresh flowers on the table, or a handwritten letter to a friend are examples of frugal luxuries that remind us of life’s beauty.
These acts are not about indulgence but about appreciation—choosing to focus on simple pleasures that bring genuine happiness.
- Meditation: The Gateway to Presence Meditation is a cornerstone of Barbequian self-care. It is a practice of stillness and introspection, helping us anchor ourselves in the present moment. Whether through traditional seated meditation, mindful breathing, or walking meditations in nature, this practice connects us to our inner peace and clarity.
Even five minutes a day can transform how we experience the world, reminding us that everything we seek already exists within.
- Nature: Reconnecting with the Source Time spent in nature is one of the purest forms of self-care. The sights, sounds, and sensations of the natural world ground us and offer a space for renewal. Whether it’s a hike through the woods, sitting by a river, or simply standing barefoot on the grass, nature reminds us of our interconnectedness with the Earth and its rhythms.
- Rituals of Care: Bathing and Beyond Acts like bathing, grooming, or skincare can become rituals of self-love when done with intention. A warm bath with essential oils or salts can cleanse more than just the body—it can soothe the soul. Lighting a candle, playing calming music, or simply taking time to savor the act of caring for your physical self turns routine into ritual.
Forgiveness: Releasing the Chains of the Past
In Barbequia, self-care extends beyond the physical and emotional—it reaches deep into the realm of self-forgiveness. Forgiveness is not just about letting go of grudges toward others but also about releasing ourselves from the burdens of guilt, shame, and outdated beliefs. It is the ultimate act of love.
- Forgiving the Beliefs We’ve Inherited Many of us carry ideas imposed by parents, society, or religion that no longer serve us. These beliefs may have shaped our past actions or limited our potential, but they are not who we are. Barbequian self-care invites us to examine these inherited beliefs with compassion, recognizing that we adopted them with the best understanding we had at the time.
Forgiving ourselves for accepting these ideas is not about rejecting our upbringing but about stepping into our own truth. It’s about saying, “Thank you for what you taught me, but now I choose a path that aligns with my highest self.”
- Forgiving Past Actions The past is gone. It exists only as a memory, a story we tell ourselves. In Barbequia, we recognize that who we are today, in this moment, is all that matters. Forgiving ourselves for past mistakes is an act of freedom—a release from the chains of regret.
Imagine your past self as a child learning to walk. You wouldn’t scold them for stumbling; you’d encourage them to keep going. Similarly, we must treat our past selves with the same kindness, understanding that each misstep was part of our growth.
- Living in the Now The present moment is the only reality. Self-care in Barbequia means choosing to live here and now, not in the shadows of the past or the worries of the future. Each day offers a fresh start, an opportunity to align our actions with our intentions.
The Barbequian Self-Care Mantra
“I honor my body, nurture my spirit, and forgive my past. I live fully in the now, creating a sanctuary of love and peace within myself.”
Self-care is not selfish; it is sacred. By prioritizing our well-being, we cultivate the strength and clarity to share our light with the world. In Barbequia, self-care is the foundation upon which we build a life of love, joy, and meaningful connection.